Tired...tired...And so tired I
feel...I just want to get up but a part of me is pulling me down...I am feeling
paralyzed and numb...I am feeling weak and exhausted as if I just came out of a
And the silence around...is so
strange...it is so silent that I can hear my heartbeat...so silent that I feel
I am the last person on earth...The sun is looking so gloomy in the distance...almost
swallowed by the clouds that I can't make out what time of the day it is...the
sea in front of me is so strangely silent and calm that it seldom made a
tide...is it tired too? I don’t know...the world around is looking so pale...I closed
my eyes and listened...Nothing but my heartbeat and breath...
Where is everyone? Why isn't
anyone around? Except for the sea in front and the infinity of sand that I
could look into it, there seemed to be nothing...Why is it that I suddenly feel
sad and lonely? Where is everyone who lived around me? Where is everyone who
was part of my life? Why aren't they around anymore? Was it my mistake? Has the
world ended? Or is this the end?
And my heart...I am feeling as if
it wants to come out…it is chanting and reminding all that I wanted to do in
life...and is slowly climbing up my chest...My mind is tired too...May be it is
feeling the guilt of bringing me into this situation..
Where am I? Is it actually my
life? Am I lost? Where am I supposed to go? Which way should I take if I make
it to my feet? Which direction should I head to reach where I started from? To
reinvent everything and everyone I liked and loved in life....to feel energy
and adrenaline again...to breathe again...and to feel life again...
I want to get back to where I
started from...I want to go home...But...My eyes are closing...Tired...tired ...and
so tired I feel...I just want to get up but a part of me is pulling me down...I
am feeling paralyzed and numb...Let me sleep...sleep and sleep...hoping to wake
up somewhere beautiful...May be that’s the only way to get back...
Thanks for all you've done I've missed you for so long I can't believe you're gone You still live in me I feel you in the wind You guide me constantly
I've never knew what it was to be alone, no Cause you were always there for me You were always there waiting And i will come home and I miss your face so Smiling down on me I close my eyes to see
And I know, you're a part of me And it's your song that sets me free I sing it while I feel I can't hold on I sing tonight cause it comforts me
I carry the things that remind me of you In loving memory of The one that was so true Your were as kind as you could be And even though you're gone You still mean the world to me
I've never knew what it was to be alone, no Cause you were always there for me You were always there waiting But now I come home and it's not the same, no It feels empty and alone I can't believe you're gone
I'm glad he set you free from sorrow I'll still love you more tomorrow And you will be here with me still
And what you did you did with feeling And You always found the meaning And you always will............................
An excellent weekend and now back to square one...Monday
But then this Monday is different..Not one of those Mondays in childhood when I could hang out with friends with no consideration for what was happening around..not one of those Mondays when I was a student listening to lectures..and not one when I used to rush to office as an employee staring at the long week ahead...
This Monday, I feel so jobless..Nothing to do...Got up at 11 to start with...had breakfast....Tried to sleep again, but couldn't, probably there is a ceiling for the number of hours a person can sleep in a day..
Checked mobile for messages and missed calls..Ya there were two each, all from the service provider..
Checked whatsapp -nothing there
Facebook - no nothing there too
Any emails - no, no and no respectively for my gmail, yahoo and hotmail ids..
Ok..leave all that...anything in my fake accounts - nothing there as well
Ok back to mobile - nothing there again..
Any events in town listed in newspaper - no nothing
Any new movies - I knew it was a No...as excepted on any given day except a Friday..
Just moved to balcony....Wanted to check if someone was around in the neighborhood...All doors closed, no sign of any movement except in the NH..Even the trees seem dead...
Back in room...almost done with this post..still nothing to do....
Everyone around seems busy..no one is around...friends are getting busy with life..most a phase or two ahead in their stage of life compared to me..and here I am..Don't know how many get this privilege this late in their life...Getting up late on a Monday morning....staying lazy and listening to music with no thoughts of work or office..
Sort of an 'I am legend' - Will Smith situation...except for the dog..Am I feeling good or bad or am I going nuts...Don't know..Seems I am the only one here in town..Alive!!!
I have never done it before...I may never do it in my life…But I
am madly in love with surfing and sky diving… And I really wish I could do it
someday...Thanks to Point Break, the movie, for giving me so real a feel and
for opening my mind towards a life style that i always wanted to have.. short
and full of events - something similar to the life of a cracker - having born
when its lit, bursting away all the way attracting everyone around towards it
and dying off before too many gather around, gifting them wonderful memories to cherish... probably leaving everyone wish it lasted a bit longer
It is so easy to reset a
mobile.to restart a system...with the hope that everything will be safe sound
and fine as before...and the confidence level of this hope is
very high, as 9 out of 10 times the reset or the restart delivers… In life too,
many a time we wish to have something of that sort...something that can reset
the whole past that we can start over again, making everything right and
correcting the mistakes that we had committed in our journey of life till then...or
something that could at least roll back things a bit to the time of our life
when everything was perfect...everything was absolutely fine.. May be that’s
why man has always been so wild in his desire for time travel machines...and
the depth of details in the movies and stories that depict the same show how
deep people have thought about it.. Unfortunately there isn't any mechanism for
that. And how much ever technologically advanced we get, I don't think there
is going to be anything that will help man to travel time or to teleport...And
this makes a new year so important in someone's life...Its like a milestone...a
restart or a restore point where in people take resolutions to be good or to be
better...or not to repeat mistakes that they made this year...or to celebrate
life as great as they celebrated it this year… everyone hopes it to be better
than the last.. And now here we are at the doorstep of 2013...An year that Mayan
calendar denied the existence of...May be half way through the year many may
feel it bad...many may want to go back...many may want to reset or
restart...But there isn't any mechanism for that...Nothing is permanent...All
situations good or bad is bound to change...As long as we are not gods, all
that we can do is sit back and hope...sit back and dream and work
Welcome 2013.....Same as the
billions who wish it to be the best in their life, I hope it is one better, if
not the best... Happy New Year:)
The slate was full..and I had been trying to wipe it clean for a long time then...I wiped it over and over again, so that it got fully clean with no spots of the previous writings..Alas!!!each time the wet surface started drying up, the previous writings started getting clear..I wiped and wiped again, then I got tired..Too tired to wipe it further that I decided to run...Run away from the slate..I ran as fast as I could, not looking back...I ran faster and faster..And then suddenly I found the slate right in front facing me with all the writings as clear as ever....